Opening Night - Thursday 24/10/1996

Halfway through the bus journey the weather took a turn for the worse. High winds and torrential rain, accompanied by some atmospheric thunder and lightning ensured my arrival, at the grand house at 7.25pm, would be reminiscent of a scene straight out of some grisly horror film.

As I walked towards the entrance gate I noticed the driver of a parked car in the gateway indicating to me. Because of the deafening sound of the rain, I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. Walking towards him, I caught sound of the magic word “holotropic” and instinctively knew it was OK to ride with him. He introduced himself as Michael and as the name sounded vaguely familiar, I immediately felt safe with him.

We arrived at the large gothic house five minutes later and as I entered the hallway I felt very confused, almost in a dream-like state. After I’d been introduced to Debby, who was the administrator, I was shown to the kitchen, where a huge old range, complete with two very large kettles boiling on its hob, gave out a tremendous welcoming warmth.

I only had time for a mouthful of tea and one rice cake, before heading into the large assembly room at 7.50pm, which I later discovered would be the main “session” room. There, the three facilitators, Tony, Suzanne and Michael, talked about themselves and what the week-end would involve.

There were thirty two participants, including myself, so I felt very nervous introducing myself to so many people, especially as I was last in line. Matthew would be my partner.

Following a short tea break, we broke up into two groups - the new-comers going with Tony and Suzanne for an introduction to Holotropic Breathwork and the more experienced group returning to the “session” room with Michael for a Shamanic experience.

Firstly, Michael had us all relax for a while, then he gave a lengthy talk on Shamanism, explaining about the Higher and Lower Worlds and the rattle and drum that he would be using. With all of us sitting in a circle with our eyes closed, he slowly made his way around the group, shaking the rattle for a few seconds in front of each person in turn. For me, it had a very strange effect. I could see this blob of terror in front of me and I was so scared. It slowly subsided after Michael moved on from me.

Afterwards we all lay down and Michael began to beat the drum as he moved up and down between the circle. For ages this had no effect on me, then suddenly I began to have strong feelings of guilt, sadness and isolation. At one point I went deeply into the feelings and began crying quietly to myself for some time.

With Michael still loudly beating the drum, I began to have images of a small delph bird perched high in a tree, followed by a brief image of a holy statue of Our Lady, also in the tree. I did as Michael suggested earlier and asked these “guides” to help me through my journey tomorrow.

Everything was peaceful for a while, then I began to feel absolutely stoned, feeling the mattress rising up off the floor.

I truly enjoyed every minute of this experience. The beating of the drum changed rhythm and we all slowly came back to reality. I don’t know if I reached the Higher World, but I certainly found the experience a very powerful one. For me it was like a mild version of a breathwork session.

Straight after our journey, Michael handed around what he called a “talking stick” to anyone who felt like discussing their experience. About five people, including myself, were eager to share our wonderful stories.

When it was all over at around 11.30pm, we had another tea break, during which I felt very energised and talkative. After ringing my husband to let him know that I’d arrived safely, I then returned to the kitchen where the craic was mighty!

At around 1.15am, I decided I was tired enough to sleep, so headed off upstairs still feeling really good. I made up the bed, talked with my room-mate, did some writing, then lay down at 1.45am.