Left the session room where the dancing was still in full swing around 12.00am. Sat in kitchen 'till around 1.15am, then went into dining room to draw my Mandala. It was the first one I ever really coloured.
I decided the whole inside of the circle should be red to depict pain and the actual circle black, to represent my dying but as I didn't die, I left the circle slightly open. Outside of all that was more red for the pain which followed my dying process, then finally, sky blue with small flecks of white, to give the sense of peace which filled my entire being at the end of all my suffering.
Went up to my room where I found Sarah very upset. Sat talking with her 'till 2.45am then went to bed. Shortly after I lay down I let out several growls as my body jerked involuntarily. Slept fairly OK with some weird dreams.
Got up 7.40am. Physically felt very fragile. My chest was the sorest part of me. Following my shower and breakfast tidied up art room and session room.
Small group formed at 10.00am. I still felt spaced-out but emotionally fine while describing yesterday's session. It was only when we all held hands at the end that I completely broke down and cried my guts out.
At 1.00pm we returned to the kitchen for lunch. Had to leave the table at one point because I was so upset but when I returned I was feeling a bit better.
Afterwards, stripped my bed and packed my clothes then just walked around the building for a while.
Around 3.00pm we all went back into the session room for the Closing Ceremony. I sat at the end of the room fearing that I might panic like I did last month, but I was fine.
Home 5.10pm A bit hungry so had some waffles and tea. Really needed to talk about my experiences so hubby stayed in the kitchen with me while I recalled in great detail all the events of the week-end. Later, felt a bit sick and dizzy with the rest of my body aching. Went to bed 10.40pm.
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